|For comm. |
Give if you want i'll be really happy ^w^
Hello everyone !
Erm well ... First let me tell about a story that started about two years ago. I was on a forum like this one where I had good time, it was there that I started to draw. There, I met a guy and a girl with who I enjoyed spending time and role playing during long hours. The girls was really cool and gentle, it was perfectly the kind of person that I really like to spend time with. Erm ... well but things gone wrong in her live and she never told us about it so we weren't understanding why she was so aggressive. We knew six month later.
But anyway, I ended up with that guy as only regular contact and role player because we both decided to stop speaking to her after a long conflict. So, well I spend a lot of time with him and at the beginning of the year he told me that he will try to come see me one day, during the summer time. It was probably at this time that I realized I loved him. So, I told him and looked happy be I never know if he loved me in return. I spent months making film of what our meeting would be like without noticing that I was destroying and isolating myself progressively. Because of that, my mood was unstable and I needed a support form one of my friend (irl) that I never had. I got angry against her (things were mooving a lot and she was in couple for the first time, she was spending so much time with his boy friend that I didn't saw that sone else took my place as " really good friend" )
And because I'm a really lucky person things gone even more wrong! A recent friend of the guy felt sick ( pneumonia ). The guy was of course worried about him but as I see that he was less and less avaible, I told him that I missed him. But he was so worried that this only thing that mattered was he friend. It ended up in a long and intense conflict during one month. I was crying every time I was speaking to him, I wasn't understanding why he was in a such state of mind and I the same time I was unable to help him, to support him because I didn't felt like if was psychologically possible for me.
We stopped to talk to each to another caus' It was the only solution. Theses last months were the best of this year, I felt free, spending time with my friends and improving my drawing a lot even if I felt completely alone when I was drawing at home.
I only started to speak to him again yesterday ... and that's why I'm unable to sleep. Now it's about 5pm ... I'm so stressed, I restarted to feel this heavy pain in my heart. I don't want to hust myself again, I know too much that I love to complain in my pain and it's not a good thing at all. I perfectly know that this "love" goes nowhere and doesn't worth to feel that pain.
I'd like to forget him but I don't think that speaking to him once again was a good solution ... I was ok until I do that.
I told this story to my friend a lot of times, it's probably better to explain it there.
I don't have that much experience in love and I'm probably worrying a little bit to much but I don't know what should I do to feel better. I'm just shared by this will of speak to him again and forget everything and I know that it will takes a lot of time.
If you had experiences like that, especially love on internet with someone that you only saw by web cam or if you have some tips please tell me.
French: EXPERT l English Intermediate l Italian: Intermediate l Japnese: beginner|
Jessica - 17 year old - French !
Love: Anime, vocaloid, Utaite ( such as kijineko, kanseru, Mi-chan <3, ... ), Cute things or the punk rock style ( It's totally opposed but I like both xD )
I started the drawing when I was 11-12. My tablet is an bamboo fun M and I work with Sai. My main inspiration are my friends, music and mangas of couse! I don't find a lot of insipiration on Da but I like so much artist that I can't say if it inspire me or not !
Feel free to ask quastion or discuss with me I don't bite ! (°ω°)
Jessica, 17 ans.
Je suis une fan de vocaloid. Je dessine depuis toujours mais je m'y suis mise sérieusement a 10-11 ans. Je hais la neige pourtant je vis dans les alpes.
Bref, si ça vous tente de discuter ça ne pose pas de problème ^^